Writing and walking is good for the soul

The word depression  in its literal sense came into being in 1650. Dejection, depression of the spirit. In the Oxford dictionary the word depression means despair, despondency, desolation, dejection and discouragement.

To me and in my experience. Depression is not having debt this is called irresponsibility. Grief is not depression, grief is a sense of loss, a time for reflection and acceptance. Life moves on from death. The same when someone you love leaves you, this is called heartache. Where time is a healer and you will get over the pain and move on from and maybe learn to love again.

Depression is a terrible dilapidated illness.

Depression is a deep sadness that seeps inside your true core, and you have no words to describe how you feel. A numbness takes over and freezes your soul, yet you long to feel whole. Because of this wanting to be whole you make mistakes and misjudgements along the way. Some times depression can be born out of shame and fear.

Residue of depression can be hyper sensitivity. Having a sensitive nature is a curse, you feel every jib, remark, and react to facial expression a lot more than most people. However when you are an abused hyper sensitive person, life is amplified and becomes even more painful. Yet  you out into the world with your feelings stripped bare, heart raw, soul exposed. However hyper sensitivity can help with  creativity.

Babies and Children. Should be brought up in a loving paradise, full of affection and care. However, if you have been brought up in fear, addiction and violence.  with no love or  any guidance.  Your inner being and true core has been destroyed from an early age. You grow by being an adult when still a child, stunted before you bloom.

I came from all of the above and to keep me sane I became a people pleaser and to my detriment and my down fall a doormat. I would fill the gaping wound with people and things I did not enjoy.

 August 2016 I suffered an emotional breakdown  I feared the sky, wind and me. I lost the world in me and I did not want to exist anymore. for the first time in years I went to my doctor and asked what can he give to make me live. He gave me Beresford centre. This wonderful place is run my volunteers and is free. For a year I received free counselling.

For 55 years I could not talk about the medical mistake or the abuse. 55 years of pain was stuck between my heart and throat, under layers of abuse and shame. Beresford centre helped me to untie, undo and let out the pain and release the sea of words to describe how I felt. Waves of tears came and I floated into a harbour of safety and I cried for the first time.

In 2017 I launched “Spirit Cracked not Broken” this collection I write on abuse and coming through the other side through prose and poetry.

NEW SCNB Front cover

In 2017 I walked Hadrian’s wall alone and raised money for this wonderful place of healing.

Hadrian's wall walk September 11th to 16th 2017 036

Walking helps too. Physical activity is a wonderful antidote to depression it creates happy endorphins. To walk among nature, hear bird song, see a sun rise. It truly is the simple things in life that bring the most happiness.

For the first time in my life I cease to be a people pleaser and I have learnt to say no and put me first. Compassion, love, empathy is what I wear in my heart, mind and soul.

Acceptance, forgiving. To forgive does not mean you forget or allow it  to happen again. There is no point in going back to things you cannot change. It is a waste of time and energy and creates a build up of negativity. Let acceptance sit in the well of your belly, breathe deep and become beautiful and move on.

The pen and love for oneself is far mightier than hate, blame and bitterness. At that time of great pain, for a year I ran a writing group in all women addiction centre. The women had all been through rehab and were clean. I inspired these woman to write for the first time in their lives and had their work published with the help of publisher Debbie Price. Their collection of work was Titled A is for Addicts. I was so humbled.

2020 my 4th collection titled “Between Aurora and Twilight” was published  and should have been launched in May and then September, both dates were cancelled because of ‘covid19’ This collection is about how walking is good for the soul and the sunny side to “Spirit Cracked not Broken”


Both collection can be bought from me by contacting me  through email pritchardjulie5@gmail.com

Regret over what was and the fear of tomorrow robs us of being in the moment.

My 3 collections 001

4 thoughts on “Writing and walking is good for the soul”

  1. Thank you for sharing Julie, I recognise many of the emotions that you describe, and yes, the deadness and absence of any emotion. I have also taken to walking, and I tread the same paths that you also walk in the Sirhowy and further. I wish you all the best on Hadrians wall walk. Walk in peace and beauty. Regards.. Henry

  2. Having read some of this collection in its original prose form, I’m proud of you for finding a way to share your story with others. Looking forward to reading this collection. Keep walking, keep writing, keep going. xx

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