I am not resposible for what my body says to others.

Dear Reader,

A couple of weeks ago I heard on the Welsh news, that teenage school girls were being touched up in school by boys was on the rise. I found this astounding that this behaviour was still going on in schools today.

I attended a catholic comprehensive school during the early 1970’s. By the time I was 14 years of age I was well-developed but very naive. I could not walk up school stairs without boys wanting to look up my knee-length school skirt. I could not walk down a corridor alone for fear of being touched up. Back then I never thought to complain because it was accepted but sometimes not by me I would lash out or would run past the boys.

I went to a catholic school dance the Motown music was magical. A jack the lad in my class would pester me but I ignored him. At another catholic school dance he enticed me outside tried to kiss me so I kicked him in the shin. I humiliated him and his revenge was to spread rumors that I had sex with him. This rumor got to my eldest brother who was not happy. Later in class I was so angry about this untrue rumor. I stood up to the 5 foot 10 inch bully called him a liar and swore at him. I was taken out of class for violent behaviour. For weeks I seethed inside at the injustice. Girls were the lesser sex back then and we had to be quiet and learn to behave. I had a mad Irish father who would have killed me along with the 5 foot 10 inch bully if he heard the rumor.

I left school at 16, walked straight into a job you could do that back then. I was asked at the interview.

” Are you on the pill?”

I replied “What no I am not old enough”!!

“Are you going to start a family?”

“No I want to buy clothes and records”

I was taken on.

I dressed like Stevie Nicks and Christine McVee from the fab group Fleetwood Mac. I was good-looking but unaware because of low self esteem. Waist length, natural blond hair, a healthy body with a brain of a flea. I would walk down Cowbridge Road, Ely, Cardiff and unintentionally stop traffic. The drivers would beep their car horns, shouts of “Great tits darling” It was humiliating. Walking past a building site was a nightmare with yells of  “Sexy let’s have a feel of your arse” “Hey look at the tits on her” and a chorus of wolf whistles.

When I was older enough (gone 18) I used to go to Night clubs, like Tito’s, Top Rank. I loved dressing up but most of all I loved dancing, I still do. guarantee I would be touched up. Onetime I went nuts and punched a man in the face. I had to run for my life and for weeks I was too scared to go to the night club.

Was beaten up because I refused a drink and a dance from Ely’s stud muffin at the time Beano Pike. It was terrifying.

Wales were playing France at rugby and the French captain John Pierre Reeve was injured. John Pierre Reeve was in the same bar as me. He walked over and ask could he buy me a drink I refused. My friend kicked me and said it was The French Rugby Captain. I just looked at her. He came over again and asked me would I like to go for a meal. I refused and said because you are not wearing a wedding ring, does not mean you are married and walked out. Would a 19-year-old woman today do the same as me or would she go with the Rugby Captain and spend the evening then tell the press and social media all??

Today I am 55 years of age no longer a size 12 now 14/16 my lovely long blond hair gone I am now mousey with silver tints and I accept this. My face has wonderful character lines that I mine and my smile is still like my Irish grandmother’s. Most of all I am still healthy and I like being me. September 2015 went skinny dipping for charity and to celebrate being me and no longer a body with a brain of a flea.

A message to 14-year-old girls and older. Do not confuse sex with love and never allow anyone to pressure you into doing something you do not want to do. Love your fashion and your music and remember respect yourself and always complain when someone interferes with your shape.

14-year-old boys and over. Do not bull shit your way into anyone’s knickers or allow your male friends to pressure you into doing something you will later regret for the rest of your life. Remember girls are not porn stars on the net, they are human beings and have right to be here and for you to show respect and not molest.

Lust is wonderful and highly addictive but the fix never lasts. Sex is great too when it is lovemaking not experimenting. Predators who go out to use and hurt other just to feel powerful and in control are the scum of the earth.

You are not responsible for what your body says to others but you are responsible to love yourself and make sure you always dance.

 

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