Today is not a good day I feel the past at my throat and I stifle a sob and feel confused as if I do not know who I am, a form of detachment from reality comes over me. In the journey of discovering myself being aware and seeking wisdom, I now know the warning signs. No need to run away or lay on the bed staring into space. I dress and put on my walking clothes. Once outside the sun breathes in and out and a good stiff breeze, I like that. Past the cattle, calf’s and sheep the stench of lanolin sheep and cow faeces fills the air. I stumble and shake a little but continue with my walk.
Greeted by the sky larks liquid sound I watch it rise and fall. The horizon is slightly covered by a blanket of cloud. Down the lane that leads to the graig, ragged robin and buttercups add colour, into the small wood the last of the bluebells fade into blue. I hear the river then breathe in the iron ore, over the bridge a wren is startled and dippers dip here and there. I sit on a boulder in the middle of the river and cry, a real soul cry. The sun climbs above the cloud and shines on my bare legs I wipe my nose and eyes and wait to see what gifts nature brings.
The song of the river is soothing it bubbles and gurgles suddenly out the corner of my eye I see something small and dark scurry past. There before me not at all skittish, a pair of water voles I wipe a tear of joy away. I stare and its chestnutty round face, blunt nose and small ears, pure Joy!
Water voles like to sit and eat in the same place and they start to breed in spring having three to four litters a year. I watch them dive totally unaware of me, in and out the water reeds one as a small piece of reed in its tiny paws. As quick as they appear they disappear into the river’s bank. Up through the secret meadow still too early for the wild pink orchids but the grasses and buttercups wave as I pass.
I see a bird of prey on the old telegraph pole it is cream and white I stop and observe it sees me and takes flight, its broad wings are grey on top, pale cream to white underneath. It is a Goshawk and I know it is a male because the female are much larger. Goshawks has a scattering population across the UK the greatest numbers are in Wales and southern Scotland.
Sometime the present is a gift to unwrap and share in the arms of mother nature.